We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
