I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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