he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
