so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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