If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
