Just fell off a train. Bad.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
