I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
