He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
