he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
