no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
