yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
