So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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