just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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