Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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