remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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