why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
