Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
