If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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