Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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