before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
