Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
