is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
