I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
