How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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