my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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