the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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