I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
