are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
