So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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