Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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