remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
