he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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