I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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