I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
