My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
