You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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