guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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