if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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