You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
