Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
