just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
