If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
