I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
