There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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