my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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