opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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