Just cropdusted the office
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
