You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
