Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
