he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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