You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
