Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
